Friendship Red Flags

I’ve always been one to celebrate friends and encourage us to invest in our friendships because sometimes they’re the family you get to choose.

Today, however… I’d like us to take a look at the opposite side of the coin and discuss what some red flags are in friendships.

These are always hard to discuss but even harder to acknowledge when you carry the red flag.

1. Someone who has a different value system from yours. This could range from taking human life or being okay with it, someone unfeeling/unempathetic when there’s things are falling apart in your life or one who does not respect personal boundaries. Some of these warrant an immediate cancelation and others may be a conversation away from reconciliation. Either way, a difference in value systems has been known to cause a stir in relationships.

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2. If someone is possessive and you can’t have other friends that is definitely a red flag. People who have that kind of attachment style tend to show up to places you’re hanging out with others, dominate conversations so that they show how close you two are and will even escalate to the point of alienating you from others with lies and blackmail. These ones are as hard to get out of as velcro tape but are necessary for growth.

3. If they always tell you other people’s business, they’re telling your personal business to others too. This one is hard to know until the gossip makes its way back to you but it stabs you just as deep then. If someone can’t keep a secret they can’t be trusted with other important things. If you have a conversation about privacy and it doesn’t stop then it’s best to just walk away.

4. If you’re always bending over backwards for them and they don’t reciprocate then you definitely have a problem. You’re always the one picking up the tab, showing up to their events but they don’t come to yours, you take time off to be with them but they don’t even show up(and don’t communicate) or they let you make expensive mistakes when they have the 411…that’s not a friend, that’s an observer! Friends would have your back and want the best for you.

5. When someone is two-faced… Eg. nice when you’re there with them but if they’re a snake behind your back then that’s not a friend. A friend defends you when no one you know is watching, they’re your advocate behind closed doors.

6. When someone doesn’t rejoice with you when you’re winning they’re probably a secret hater. If you notice someone constantly criticizing every move you make even when your career, family life, or business is on the rise then they are projecting their own failures on you. Keep that negative energy at bay if you address it and it can’t change.

Life is too short to constantly be on the defensive with friends. Friends were put in our lives to be our cheerleaders, confidants and chosen family.

Keep the energy around you clear, clean and happy.

Having 2 dear people in your life is better than 20 wishy-washy ones.

YOUR NETWORK IS YOUR NET WORTH!